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At some point, after sobbing one too many times you are probably going to find yourself self-asking. What are some things to do to get over a breakup? When a relationship doesn’t work out, and you look at it realistically in hindsight most relationships are not healthy. This breakup advice, it focused on you reconnecting to who you are and what’s important to you.

A healthy relationship is designed with standards, aligned values, and a clear picture of dreams, and goals.  At The YOU Series, we focus on building you up first, then building your relationships as well as your career. Creating alignment in your life that brings fulfillment!

Breakup Step 1: Reflect On The Relationship

It’s important to reflect on your recent relationships. Reflection helps you learn from past experiences in your life. An important mindset to have around reflection is not to be attached to the desired result because you end up reflecting on things in a biased way.

Journal about what I’m going to share with you below…

1.”Yes again” or “No never again”

Look back on your relationships. Empower yourself by deciding what you will accept and what you will never accept inside of a relationship in your life again.

2.  Write down your lessons!

If you don’t want to have the same bad experience again. Find what there is to learn from your past experience and relationship. Think about how you need to react and what you need to do differently so it doesn’t happen again. Starting to learn your lessons, is the best way to reduce regret!

In addition to the steps above. It’s really important to view this reflection work in a powerful way. Don’t let yourself be powerful and blame the other person for the relationship. Start to take responsibility for as much as you can, not only will taking responsibility to give you more confidence but it will also allow you to feel more powerful! This you could do better in the future. This is how you step in your power and learn in preparation for the next relationship.

Breakup Step 2: Be Single for a While & Focus on self-Love

Self-love is so important in a relationship for so many reasons. Here are the most important ones… The level that you love yourself at, is the level that other people will love you at. This works in two ways.

The first way is that you have a standard for yourself. You treat yourself a certain way and the partner in your life will respect that standard in the love you and want to be with you. It’s important to get clear about what your core values are. People experience your standards in you. As a result, they know that if you treat yourself a certain way, they must treat you with the same respect. This is called human nature. It happens naturally.

The second way that self-love impacts your relationships is it depends on the level of love that you experience. Yes, people experience different levels of love. When you have deep respect, admiration, gratefulness, care & love for everything you are. You begin to see the world around you in the same manner. A huge part of practicing self-love is getting clear on what your future path is, and having an idea of where you’d like to end up inside a relationship.

Here are a few questions you should ask yourself:

  • Do I know what my vision is for my life?
  • What are my core values? You can learn more about core values here…
  • Are there any unresolved past pains and traumas you still need to process and deal with?
  • How do I react when I don’t get my way? Is it hard for you to accept when someone else wants something else?
  • What are my goals in future relationships?
  • Kids… how many?
  • Do you want to get married?
  • Planning to stay in the present country or do you plan to move?

Ask yourself all the big and small questions. I assure you the more clear that you are, the easier it will be for you to bounce back from this breakup.

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Breakup Advice Step 3: Celebrate YOU

Celebrate how beautiful you are and find the self-worth inside of you… knowing you have lots to offer and have so much love to give.

Learn to trust yourself throughout the process. This is one of the most powerful things to do to get over a breakup.

Celebrate your body and beauty. The more you focus on how fabulous you are, the more radiant you will become and have a super glow in your eyes and skin!

Another part of celebrating yourself is also celebrating the work that you’re doing. Reading this blog, for example, you’re actively looking for solutions and healing. That is amazing, celebrate that!

Breakup Step 4: Have FUN!

Take some of your time and have FUN! breakup advice

Spend time around people; It doesn’t mean you’re always with someone that you know. You can also just get in public and do things by yourself. Go out with girlfriends, take yourself out on a date, and go to the movies!

This breakup advice is fundamental. When you start having fun you start to reconnect yourself to who you really and truly are. This is important for your moving forward

Get comfortable in your own skin and move your body; You can go for a bike ride, take a long walk, or go to the gym.

Do an outdoor adventure or book a vacation; Go skiing in the mountains, book a sunny vacation somewhere, or go visit a friend that moved away from where home is. Get out into the world and be in your skin!

While focusing on having fun. Start to find your passions and live your life vibrantly. Knowing that moving forward “Life will be different.”

Get more and more into creating what your dream future looks like. This is one of the best things you can do post break up, and my top breakup advice.

Breakup Advice Step 5: Learn About Men Or Women...

Begin to learn more about how men think, and why they think that way. Men and women often misunderstand each other. This is what causes a lot of disagreement in relationships. This will prepare you for the next time around with the knowledge and understanding that you need.

Check out this video: Secret’s Men Don’t Want You To Know

Breakup Step 6: The focus on YOU. Here is Day-to-Day Break Down...

1. Celebrate Life With Gratitude Daily

What you focus on grows. So in order to fulfill your heart with joy and feel blessed, you must see the simple things that make your life beautiful!

Cultivate the habit of being thankful

What are you grateful for?

  1. The ability to walk?
  2. The ability to see?
  3. The ability to smell?
  4. The ability to taste good food?
  5. All of the above?

Start to focus on the small juicy things in life that we all sometimes take for granted.

2. Sleep!

It’s easy to get carried away and lose lots of sleep. Sleep is so important when it comes to health and beauty! That’s why they call it beauty sleep.

Take time to rest throughout the day!

Sleep and rest promote good health and reduce stress, allowing your body to rejuvenate.

3. Have Courage

Ask for what you want and own it! If you never ask you will never know the answer. Don’t be afraid of the answers but instead focus your fear on not knowing the answer.

If you don’t ask you’ll never know the answer, the answer will always be a 50% chance of being YES and a 50% chance of being NO!

4. Be Excited

Spend every second of every day finding the excitement in things! There have been studies done where they found that there are more excitement fulfillment and joy… in planning and imagining a vacation, than the actual experience itself.

Live as if everything is rigged in your favour!

Excitement is created from within by how we view the world and the gratitude that we have for the situation.

5. Have The Abundance Attitude

Abundance is knowing there is enough to go around however many times it’s needed. Abundance is the opposite of scarcity. Scarcity is never feeling like there is enough and ultimately this is a mindset. Abundance is known that there is plenty to go around for everyone. If you have an idea or plan knowing you are in the right place at the right time for you. Money alone, knowing that money NEVER runs out and comes around.

6. Always Send Love

Starting with your ex-boyfriends. Sending love to the people that have brought about a hurtful experience for you is a powerful act of self-love. You don’t ever have to actually physically tell the person. It’s more about cultivating the ability to wish others well despite their wrong doings. This creates you as the biggest most powerful version of yourself.

Forgiveness, and sending love are personal experiences and cleanse your heart.

6. Have Money Goals

Focus on what you want to accomplish in your career. This is not about what someone else wants but particularly focusing on you and what you dream to accomplish. In your journal write down that specific NUMBER. Plan for success and decide what you want through out your whole self-love process. How much do you want to make? Break down what you want to accomplish… What do you have to do? Shoot for the starts because YOU are worth every second and every penny! This is definitely one of the best things to do to get over a breakup.

7. Create a Love Intention Journal

If you just went through a break up, you may not be feeling this right now. I promise you, starting to do this right after a break up will pay off. The purpose of this journal is to write about your experience and also to write down what didn’t work, and turn it into your “Ideal Dream Situation.” Learning from what doesn’t work will provide us with clarity about what we would rather have.

Keep an ongoing list of desires for your next relationship in this journal. It will pay off!

Just got out of a bad break up and need support?

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Break up’s are tough, once you get past the loss, the grief and doubt… they are freeing too…. If you’re looking for support while you go through this next phase of your life, you’d like to learn more about yourself and how to prevent experiencing a break up like this again, let’s chat, I can help!

Julia Maria Nica

Life & Dream Coach

Julia grew up in Vancouver, B.C. She immigrated from Romania to Canada in the ’90s with her family. Julia decided to find her passion. Just like many women, she experienced her own self-image challenges. She came up with the idea of The YOU Series as a part of unraveling the pain of her life. Today she focuses on building The You Series, coaching her clients, and creating new content.

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