Self-love is such a huge subject and concept in our world today. In this blog, we are going to clarify what is self-love, and what you can do to improve how you communicate and treat yourself from day to day, meanwhile creating true purpose around self-love for you.
The Real Meaning of Self-Love
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.
What is Self-Love?
Self-love can be seen as a feeling of appreciation, respect, and acceptance for yourself. It’s important to respect, appreciate, and love yourself exactly the way you are. This is so that you can be in a good place emotionally and mentally.
However, having self-love does not mean that you are selfish or conceited because it is quite the opposite. Self-love is simply being kinder to yourself by making choices that make your heart happy. Practicing self-love is also a self-trust builder. Self-trust also builds confidence. The purpose of practicing self-love is actually to feel more openly and deeply about yourself. When you feel that way about yourself you impact other people in a positive, loving & powerful way.
If you are driven to serve others. Self-love should be a priority because the more that you fill yourself up and nurture yourself. The more love, and energy you’ll have for the people in your life that matter. The love that you give yourself will fill you up to the point where that love will naturally pour into your environment. You’ll have more fuel and energy to give effortlessly.
The 3 Areas That Self-Love Impacts In Your Life:
1. Interpersonal Benefits of Self-Love:
Improving self-love is extremely important because it helps you to look after yourself at all levels of your being. If you don’t love yourself, you may lack the motivation to take care of your body, mind, and spirit. It’s important to love yourself if you want to be happy and healthy! Self-love requires looking at parts of yourself that you generally aren’t used to looking at but do this in a way that’s gentle. Taking time to do this work will also increase your level of self-trust and that will also increase your confidence level.
2. Relationship Benefits of Self-Love:
The importance of self-love can be seen in how other people treat you. If you feel bad about yourself or your life, others will catch this negativity from you through your body language and tone of voice. They might react by treating you poorly as well, which can lead to a lack of happiness for both parties involved. When this happens enough times, it starts to hurt your relationships with other people instead of improving them.
3. Physical Benefits of Self-Love:
It’s also good for our physical health because we’re more likely to make decisions that benefit us when we truly believe they’ll do so. This includes eating healthy foods or exercising regularly–and avoiding things like smoking cigarettes or drinking too much alcohol on a regular basis.
The importance of self-love is clear: if we don’t make these choices now then they’ll catch up with us later in life when our bodies are less able to handle them than they used today.
The level of respect for ourselves increases immensely when we invest the time emotionally in looking at our blockages. This pays off physically in our bodies and in our relationships. Our standards become higher as our self-esteem and self-respect improve.
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Key Benefits of Self Love:
Improved self-esteem and confidence:
When you take care of yourself, your self-esteem and confidence both increase. You are more likely to have positive thoughts about yourself, trust yourself, and feel good about who you are as a person.
Build better relationships with others:
When you love yourself, it’s easier for others to love you too! It’s also easier for you to build healthy relationships with other people. Loving yourself is the first step toward loving others more. And yes, your ability to love other people deeper does increase as you practice self-love.
Better physical health:
Self-love can help improve your overall well-being because it helps you take better care of your body. When you love yourself, eating right becomes easier and exercising more natural!
Better mental health & less stress:
Loving yourself will decrease anxiety in your life and also helps manage stress better in high-stress situations like job interviews or presentations at work/school. There will be times when negative feelings arise but this is part of what makes us human; these feelings don’t define who we truly are nor should they consume us in our daily lives thanks to self-love! On top of that how you manage your feelings will be more effective because you are overall more gentle and understanding with yourself.
Feeling more secure and fulfilled:
When one loves themselves enough then there is no need for anyone else’s approval or validation because ultimately that person knows their worth already so there won’t be any insecurity issues on any level anymore because finally, everything about them feels secure within themselves which means true happiness lies within loving oneself unconditionally. Especially when things get tough sometimes — just don’t give up on life.
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12 Tips for Practicing Self-Love:
1. Positive affirmations are a way to love yourself:
If you think about it, all your thoughts and beliefs about yourself are really just an internal monologue of affirming beliefs. The problem is that most people don’t pay attention to what they’re telling themselves on a regular basis, and when they do notice their self-talk, they often criticize themselves in ways they’d never tolerate from others. You can start to change this pattern by intentionally repeating positive affirmations throughout the day.
Some examples include:
- “I’m worthy of love and respect.”
- “I choose to be kind to myself today.”
- “I deserve happiness in my life.”
2. Take time for yourself every day to connect with yourself:
You can’t practice self-love if you don’t know who you truly are because you’re always distracted or busy doing things for other people.
The best way to get to know yourself is by taking quiet time each day to reflect and connect with what’s going on inside of you.
This might mean you’re:
- Journaling
- Meditating
- Doing yoga
- Just sitting outdoors alone for some time each day without any distractions (e.g., phone calls, emails).
Anything that allows you a chance to explore how you feel without being interrupted will help you understand what your mind and body need from you each day so that, in turn, you can start giving it to them on a regular basis as an expression of self-love through self-care.
3. Be in the act of being more loving to yourself:
Learning how to be more loving to yourself can be learned with practice and patience.
Here are some examples of how you might start becoming more self-loving:
- Stop beating yourself up for mistakes, focusing on what you could’ve done better instead of what you did well.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. You are already enough just as you are.
- Focus on what goals and talents you have, rather than what achievements or skills you don’t have yet.
- Don’t expect perfection from yourself—be forgiving when things go wrong or don’t live up to your expectations. Mistakes happen, and they’re unavoidable in life!
- Use positive affirmations like “I am beautiful,” “I am worthy,” etc. Say them out loud if that helps embed them in your mind as truth!
- Edit your beliefs often, and really look at what guides your belief system from day to day.
4. You are more than enough (Just as you are):
This isn’t just some motivational armchair philosophy. You can improve your self-love by doing the work to develop it. Self-love is not something you are born with or inherently have, but something you cultivate and grow over time. Something we are all born with is love and the capacity to give it to ourselves and others.
I’m not talking about self-esteem here, which is how we value ourselves on the basis of our achievements and qualities. Self-esteem comes from outside validation and recognition, while self-love comes from inside us. You are enough just as you are. You have everything you need within you to feel whole, complete, and worthy of love.
5. Accept yourself with all your flaws and imperfections:
Contentment and acceptance are everything when it comes to feeling complete with yourself. You are what you are and that is not good or bad but it is what is. Accept what is.
You are here in this moment, for a reason. Do something powerful with it. I can promise you that the only way to tap into your full potential is to first and foremost accept where you are at now.
6. Eliminate negative self-talk from your life:
Stop focusing on your weaknesses and focus on what makes you great. It’s important to embrace all sides of yourself, but when you let your weaknesses define who you are, it’s nearly impossible to love yourself for who you are. Instead, focus on what makes up your strengths and how these strengths can help define who you are as a person. Look for positive changes to start creating in your life.
- When you put yourself down, you are only making it harder for you to love yourself in the future.
- The results of this negative self-talk can be devastating and even traumatic.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- If there is someone in your life that is constantly putting you down, consider removing them from your life.
7. Do not compare yourself to others or accept being compared:
This is something that can be difficult for many people because they grew up in a society where they are influenced by the beauty & success standards set by other people.
Being influenced by the superficial beauty standard in our world today means that you’re going to look at other women and think “Wow, she is so beautiful!” and then want to appear as beautiful as her. or in terms of success” Wow, look at how successful they are” when you don’t know how many hours went into getting them to where they are at now.
The truth is:
a) You don’t know what other people do to get to where they are. How many beauty appointments do some of these models go to. How much someone works to achieve a certain about of success.
b) Beauty & success should in fact be determined by the individual. One type is not everyone else’s type when it comes to what other people recognize as beautiful. So to put yourself in a box and not actually accept and recognize what makes you unique and beautiful is huge disfavor. The same goes for success. One person’s success is not everyone else’s definition of success. Someone may actually desire to be a millionaire & that to them is what success looks like whereas someone else just wants to be a parent. That ability to be a parent is the greatest success for them. You define what beauty and success are to you.
A huge part of practicing self-love is really taking charge of how you choose to define things. don’t take on the world’s definition as your own. Create a vision of what the most healthy, beautiful, and successful version of you is, and then go for that.
c) Other people will love you when they see that you love and appreciate where you are at. You determine what that looks like.
8. Make your own happiness a priority in life:
Set aside time to do the things that make you happy. It is all too easy to get caught up in life, sometimes feeling like we are on a hamster wheel of responsibilities and chores, with little time for ourselves. But you need to do the things that make you happy for your own well-being and happiness. If you can’t find something that makes you genuinely happy, now is a good time to try new things until you find your passion or hobby.
Keep a gratitude journal. This helpful exercise can keep your mind focused on the positive aspects of life and help prevent it from getting caught in negative thoughts or emotions. You can write as little as one thing each day that brings positivity into your life, such as “I am thankful for my three meals a day” or “I am thankful for spending time with my family.”
9. Stop dwelling and beating yourself up over past mistakes:
Most of us have had negative experiences in our lives, and many of us also tend to beat ourselves up over past mistakes. However, if you want to improve your self-love, you need to forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and learn from them. Instead of dwelling on the past and focusing on negative experiences, remember that there is always a lesson to be learned. It doesn’t matter if it took you two weeks or ten years; it’s never too late! Forgive yourself for things that happened in the past or that you could have done differently. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives, but what matters is how we react when we make those mistakes – do we allow ourselves to wallow in shame, or do we look at how it can help us grow as a person?
10. Try new, do it and figure out the details later on:
(You don’t have to know everything ahead of time!)
Live with fewer regrets and fewer “what ifs” in life by doing more things that excite you!
You’ve probably heard of people who are so afraid of change that they get stuck in the same job or relationship, even though they’re unhappy. Being afraid to try new things, especially when it comes to your interests and passions, puts a huge limit on what you can do in life. It’s kind of like how you can keep working out with only one muscle group—you won’t be able to do much more than looking good.
To become a well-rounded person who can explore more options in life, you need to be someone who is willing to take risks, take action and pursue their passions; this means learning about some things for the first time at any stage in life.
Lastly, you don’t have to know everything ahead of time, you’re better off diving in deep and learning along the way. It’s been proven time and time again that kinesthetic learning (Taking action and learning new information) is the best way to learn and often the most secure way of remembering what you learn.
11. Become comfortable with processing new trauma that arises:
A huge part of self-love is having the ability to effectively deal with pain and emotion. This means that when new triggers and negative reactions show up for you. You’re open and ready to look at those pains and effectively process them without blaming, hurting, and lashing out at other people.
12. Invest in yourself, wellbeing, mentally and physically:
This means that you’re open to spending the money on the nutrition and supplementation that your body needs. That gym pass or workout class isn’t too expensive. It’s something you’ll figure out how to make work because you deserve it and so does your body.
The same goes for your mental health. Be willing to invest the time and money in improving your skills around how to effectively remove limiting beliefs and introduce new powerful beliefs. To figure out what’s holding you back from getting to your goal. Be open and willing to hire a coach, a personal trainer, a therapist, or the individual that is teaching you what you need to learn next. Source out the knowledge and the tools that you need in the present moment.
Loving Yourself Is Important, Here Is Why:
Loving yourself is one of the most important things you can do in life. It’s not always easy, but the benefits are endless.
The more you pour into yourself, the more you will have to give to other people. This will benefit your relationships in such a positive way. It’s like being able to pour into your own cup, but you don’t stop pouring till it over flows into the lives of people who come into contact with you.
Self-love impacts:
- Your relationships!
- Work experience & communications!
- Love life!
- Confidence level!
- Your standards for living!
- How connected to yourself you feel!
Not only will loving yourself benefit your personal development, but it will also impact every aspect of your life. Loving yourself means being kind to yourself, celebrating your successes, and learning from your failures. You’ll live a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life when you learn to love yourself!
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Self-love is so important for our well being and relationships. It’s a huge confidence builder. If you’re struggling when it comes to fully, liking and loving what you’ve been given in this life. I can help!
Julia Maria Nica
Life & Dream Coach
Julia grew up in Vancouver, B.C. She immigrated from Romania to Canada in the ’90s with her family. Julia decided to find her passion. Just like many women, she experienced her own self-image challenges. She came up with the idea of The YOU Series as a part of unraveling the pain of her life. Today she focuses on building The You Series, coaching her clients, and creating new content.