We all go through life’s ups and downs. I find when I’m living in a peak state in my life, I don’t worry about my happiness level but let’s talk about my top tips on how you can change your life.

When something occurs, I hit what I call a pit or a dip in my life. I always find myself wondering how I can get back to a loving, joyful, and happy state, once again.

There is one question that we all seem to ask…

“Why am I here?”

and then these two follow…

“What should I be doing in my life?”

“How can I be happy and feel fulfilled in my life?”

I’ve always kept an eye open for answers when it comes to these very questions and I’m going to share my answers with you. So, if you’re asking these same questions keep reading because this is written to guide you, change your life and give you a new perspective, and change your life.

The answers are simple and clear but they are meant to be unraveled. We each have a personal responsibility to peel back the layers that we have developed subconsciously throughout the experiences and pain that we have had in our lives.

I’ve been there, I have been blissfully joyful and high on life’s loving goodness!

Some of you that read this, may have already experienced life’s bliss. I am aware that others may not. I’m writing this article for a few reasons. One of the first things I want to express is that I am just as human as everyone else. I have been depressed and unhappy at times in my life but I have also achieved that state of bliss and a perspective that has allowed me to be more resilient to life’s challenges. I am sharing my perspective and the solutions that have worked for my clients and me. So that I can contribute to your growth by sharing these lessons!

There are emotional states that serve us, and there are emotional states that also breed misery.

There will always be a circumstance that presents a challenge that we all eventually have to face. Our results in life, begin with the decision we make when reacting and responding to each specific event. Our reactions change our results. Some reactions lead to success in any given matter and other reactions lead to disaster, pain, sadness, and a lack of fulfillment.

If you feel overwhelmed, unhappy, in pain unfulfilled, or unsatisfied in your life. You’ve been thinking about what could change your life? The following is what I challenge you to think about.

Each individual sees life through their own spectacles. They are formed through life experience, beliefs, values, and past pain. How an individual reacts to a situation can change from person to person. How we deal with life’s stuff is extremely important, this can make us or break us. Understanding that everything you perceive is more about you… then the other person will change your life, an is a power move for you.

Highlight: YES, life for ALL of us consists of its ups and downs. It’s not what hits us in life that defines who are are but HOW WE LOOK AT LIFE and how we deal with what comes our way.

When something happens ask yourself:

1. What triggers me in this situation, look for feeling irritated or annoyed.
2. Look for familiarity, we usually react to protect ourselves from something that’s hurt us in the past?
3. Try to pinpoint what’s hurt you in the past.
4. Look for how your present situation isn’t like you past situation.
5. Choose to approach the present situations differently.

When you’re stuck in unconscious patters, life tends to get really rough. Pin-pointing those patterns helps you break free from the pattern it’s self. Noticing how the present moment is different helps you step out of the cycle.

This is a big one. Gratitude is trending and it’s so mainstream nowadays it has changed many people’s lives. I would honestly point out that creating a habit of it daily is anything at least till it becomes a part of you! Say “Thank You” often. It doesn’t have to be out loud. It can be in silence. But appreciate what you have, it will change your life, and the way you feel about your life!

A great thing to do is write your gratitude’s down.

Answers the following daily:

1. What worked out for me today?
2. Why am I happy to be where I’m at?
3. Who am I grateful for?
4. Why am I grateful for them
5. How can I tell them?

Gratitude is a two part experience:

1. Internal experience of gratitude – feeling better with in yourself.
2. External experience of gratitude  – sharing your thankfulness with others.

Practicing gratitude will change your life, it will improve your confidence and happiness level.

“What do I want for my life and why do I want this.” Questions are powerful and they guide us to where we need to go! What we ask for, is always given to us. The answers we seek are almost always answered in some way. We just have to be open and ready to receive those answers.

The answer isn’t always what we expect. Learning to ask questions and ask for help will change your life once you really get into the practice of it.

I love focusing on contentment. To be content is to reach ultimate acceptance of what is present in your life. Goals and future planning are important. When I mention contentment I don’t mean complacency, I mean acceptance and understanding for yourself. Taking ultimate responsibility for your life! The best part about focusing on contentment is that confidence and all the other good empowering emotions seem to follow with contentment!

Start by being at peace with what you do have. Many people confuse contentment with complacency. Don’t confuse the two, you can be content about who you are and where your at but also have the desire and drive to do better.

Contentment in this case is about self-acceptance. Learning to look at your life and say “I’m good with what I’ve been given.”

What to become content about:

1. Your facial features.
2. Your upbringing – even if it wasn’t good. Turn it into a positive for yourself by learning from it. Accept your parents, siblings and family.
3. Your quirks, the things that make you unique.

Finding contentment towards yourself is a self-love practice.

Highlight: A guided note “Today might not be how I want it to be but my purpose is always to find A SOLUTION, A LESSON, and GROW from what hasn’t worked. With everything I cannot control I must always surrender and let go. Allowing myself to be guided day in and day out.”

Empathy and compassion are two very important parts to changing your life.

How to have more empathy:

Empathy is being able to see someone else suffering and as Brene Brown say’s being able to vulnerably search inside of yourself when something similar happened to you.

1. Become curious about other people.
2. Look for similarities not differences.
3. Connect to the last time you’ve been through something similar.
4. Explore your heart not just your head.
5. Walk in the other persons shoes.
6. Listen but also vulnerably share.
7. Examine your biases.

How to gain compassion:

When we lack compassion for ourselves there is a ripple effect of this rigid attitude toward others around us. Compassion is knowing how someone may feel and wanting to help them.

1. Self-awareness comes first. Start to see the inner most sensitive parts of yourself.
2. Step outside of yourself, and look for the 3rd person’s perspective. “What am I not seeing here?
3. To have compassion we must forgive ourselves.
4. Be kind to ourselves first and foremost, then be kind to others.
5. Take responsibility when you make a mistake.
6. Apologizes for making the mistake.
7. Offer to help others when they’re going through something.

When we ask for what we want and call out for it. That’s when things come into play! With that being said having empathy and compassion does need to be the final goal when you’re talking to someone. Getting into the habit of not only being about yourself will change your life.

Surrender everything you cannot control. This is actually what allows most breakthroughs in life, the moment we let go… things just seem to fall into place. Stress is one of the major results of not letting go.

Letting go helps you reduce resistance in life, when you reduce the level of resistance you have… your goals and dreams are more likely to happen.

Having less resistance also improves your confidence level as well.

Top steps to start letting go:

1. Clarify your core values and put those first.
2. Let yourself grieve, a loss is a loss.
3. Seek out support, may it be friends, family, coaching or counselling
4. Learn from the situation.
5. Take what didn’t work and turn it into a vision for what could work.
6. Set new intentions for your future.
7. Forgive, yourself & others.
8. Consider stepping away from the source of your stress.
9. Say “I choose to be indifferent now.” Your words are powerful & the body listens.
10. Breath
11. Move forward in taking new action towards.
12. Take new action towards your intentions and goals.

Understand what makes you tick and why it happens. Knowledge gives us the power and belief, we need to make those changes. Without knowledge, we take less action. If you find you can’t make a decision about something you can almost always pinpoint the root cause of your indecision because of the lack of knowledge.

Forms of learning:

• Reading a self-development book.
• Taking a new course about the area of your life that you’re struggling in.
• Signing up for coaching or counselling.
• Talking to people you trust about solutions.
• Journaling about what has happened to you and your thoughts.

When a challenge presents itself, focus on solutions and less on the problem of the situation. Focusing on a problem get’s most of us nowhere and running in an endless cycle of accomplishing nothing and making the problem bigger if anything. Sound familiar?

Why not to focus on the problem:

• Focusing on the problem will not get you anywhere.
• Talking about the problem will only make it bigger.
• Where focus goes energy flows.

Focusing on the problem will only manifest more problems. To manifest more of what you want, focus on the good things. I break down manifestation in an incredibly logical way.

Highlight: We are all given what we can handle, so our challenges are made for us to rise through them.

I have to outline that we do make it or break it. mainly because of our belief in ourselves daily. Where our beliefs are is probably one of the most important things we can check in on daily.

Did you know your betting off setting small goals that you believe you can achieve then larger goals that you don’t believe you can achieve? Grasping this will change your life! Build your believe bit by bit, step by step.

How to build your belief in yourself:

1. Start with asking for something small you think you can have.
2. Keep doing that till you start believing you can have bigger, better things.
3. Do some self-worth work.
4. Once you believe you can have something a little bigger and better. Go for that.

Building your belief level is more about starting where you’re at and inching up towards bigger dreams, slowly. Building your belief in yourself will change your results which will change your life!

Highlight: You want to check in with your self-belief & values often!

Turn around and do something kind. We feel better when we share, give, have compassion for others and

ultimately support someone to smile in their life.

Highlight: “We all have one purpose we all share, that’s to love and be loved.

If you consistently take action towards one thing you want to improve on each day. Your life can transform in incredible ways in a few months’ time!

Happiness and fulfillment is a choice, a decision we make, a life we ask for! Take small new steps and it will change your life. Taking action to the steps, that I share above will change your life. Just remember that the energy and focus you put into sometime with reward you in time. Be patient.