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When I started to write this blog, it was about how to love and let go of toxic people in your life, but then I had a marathon of life lessons thrown at me, and it wholly metamorphosed into something way more significant than my initial thoughts.love and let go

My 15-year-old son and I had a big blowout. He thinks he’s 22, and I still see him as a 5-year-old sleeping on my chest. This was one of the worst fights we’ve ever had leaking into the next day.

Then we finally cooled off and sat down calmly talking out her feelings, I could finally Breathe again.

After that the next day had me thinking about my son and how his 15-year-old self is trying to find himself, test his limitations, and see where he fits into the world.  However my job as his mother is to find a way to love and let go without letting him kill himself or someone else, ending up in jail or a father too soon.

Despite all my fears I knew deep in my heart what the right thing to do was. Just like that I had to love and let go.

How to Start to Love and Let Go:

Learning  that to love and let go of my children was healthy for both of us. I had to reteach myself that I can love and let go but still be there for them to:

  1. Set rules for my home 
  2. Instill values  
  3. Help them with hardships in their lives

This opened my eyes to a whole new way to parent a teenager successfully. It gave me a lot more confidence that to love and let go of my teenage was helping them find their way through this stressful transition from childhood to adulthood. 

When you start to learn to love and let go of your teenage:

It can open up your mind to how good it is to love and let go of other things in your life, such as:

  • The pain of your past
  • Your old self and the mistakes you felt you had made 
  • What you thought your life should look like
  • You’re limiting beliefs about yourself 
  • Any bad habits you may have 
  • Toxic people in your life, even if it is someone you love 
  • The way you wish others would act or the world the world is acting 
  • Other people’s opinions 

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To love and let go had been one of my most complicated challenges:

In the past I would hold on to something or someone until my fingers were broken and bleeding, worried that if I let go, there would be catastrophic consequences. Especially when it was a person I love, I thought I would be alone, not even thinking that if I love and let go of them, it could transform their lives into unique possibilities of self-growth.

Some things that I found things that helped me love and let go more easily:

1. Physical Activity:

Today finding some physical activity that brings you joy is the most popular way to love and let go. However, if you’re not sure, start trying new things to find out what brings you joy. For most parents, this can be challenging.

I understand this too well, another way to look at it is to find a great at-home yoga practice. It’s free, and I can do it at home, which is very convenient. Even if you put your baby in the stroller and take a walk around the neighborhood, whatever you have to do to get physical.

2. Gratitude Practice:

Get a notebook and a pen. Next, write down 5-10 things you are grateful for and why. During this time writing down the why is essential because it will shift your mental focus. 

For Example:

I am so grateful for my happy & healthy children because they give me so much love. At the end of the page, write down thank you three times. 

Do this daily, and as a result, you will feel a difference in your life within two weeks.

3. Journaling:

Reality is you can genuinely journal about anything let me clarify: 

How your day went, things from your past, your annoying boss, or your nagging in-laws. 

You can also just start to write about nothing in particular; just put pen to paper and see where it goes 

One of the most well-studied techniques is called expressive writing. To do this, you write continuously for 20 minutes about your deepest thoughts and emotions around your issue.

You can explore how it has affected you or how it relates to your childhood, your parents, your relationships, or your career.

Expressive Writing is traditionally done four days in a row, but this formula isn’t magical. Studies suggest you can journal a few days in a row, a couple of times a week, or just once a week; you can write for 10-20 minutes and keep journaling about the same topic or switch to different ones each time.

4. Meditation

Many times I hear people say, “I can’t meditate,” I will stop you right there because you can; you have to find what feels right for you. It may take some experimenting, but for example, the steps that helped me on my journey are. 

  • Find a comfortable place to sit or lay down (preferably not your bed if you choose to lay down; I use my yoga may on the floor) 
  • Hopefully, it’s quiet, but just to clarify if it’s not because you live in a house with four kids use headphones.
  • Now, you need white noise to focus on. This can be a fan or air-conditioner. You can even download a white noise app. Or you can choose meditation music. 
  • Set a timer for between 5-20mins whatever you have time for, and think your kids will survive without you.
  • Now you are ready, breathe in and expand your belly, and breathe out, pulling your stomach towards you as you focus on your white noise or music.

Also at first, this will feel weird, and you will think you are doing it wrong, but you are not. Don’t worry if thoughts flow in because they will, especially if you’re new to meditation.

As soon as you realize you’re forcing on a thought, put your focus back on your breathing and white noise/music.

In other words, do this daily, and you will feel the difference in your life within two weeks.

5. Prayer:

This is the most important method that has helped me love and let go. I ask  God to help me love and let go of whatever is getting in the way of my bliss. No matter what, it has brought more peace than anything I have tried.

I did my best to make it a habit to turn to God in need. Furthermore, there is no wrong way to talk to God; just do it. He will listen to whatever you in to love and let go of you. You have nothing to lose but worry and fear. 

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In conclusion, when you start to love and let go, it helps you to be present in your life. It gives you all your power back. It sets you up to live in bliss and peacefulness, which I had to learn the hard way. 

As a gift to you, I wanted to help you implement this in your life to bring you that peaceful joy and bliss sooner rather than later.

Truly N Thomas

Self-Love Life Coach

Truly is a mother of 4 children. As she has overcome her hurdles in life she found her passion in focusing on working with parents to build a better relationship and environment with their children. Her focus is to serving others with powerful tools through coaching. One of her focuses are Self-Love as it was the most transformative turning point in her journey.

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