I’ve always valued working with my children’s father to helping raise them! It just made more sense for the kids. This is not something that serves me but more serves their growth in their life. My upbringing wasn’t easy, but I gained these important values by not having them around when I was a child. Making co-parenting work is an important subject that’s not visited while going through a divorce enough.
If you haven’t already read my story make sure to check that out at some point!
”My tribe is made up of the most amazing mix of people. We function on love, humor, smart remakes and faith in each other. To start off it's my core, my kids and myself.Truly ThomasLife Coach
But First, A Introduction Of Who I Am:
My tribe is made up of the most fantastic mix of people. We function on love, humor, intelligent remakes, and faith in each other. To start, it’s my core, my kids, and myself. I have 3 amazing boys and one beautiful girl. This is why I get up in the morning and keep striving for my goals and self-happiness. My older sons bring to our family a truly amazing group of loving people. Their father and stepmother which happens to be one of my best friends. Funny how a little understanding can go a long way. Also, there 3 wonderful sons, and to top it off, loving grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Next is the amazing father of my younger 2 but an amazing stepfather to the older 2 as well. He is a beautiful parenting partner with me in raising our kids even after our marriage didn’t work out; he never gave up on the family just went with the flow of change. Which has helped our kids adjust wonderfully. His mother is also a loving and hands-on grandma to all of them. My family my tribe because it does take a village.
Broken Marriages Aren’t Better Than Divorce:
There is an epidemic in this world, and no, I’m not talking about drugs, violence, hunger, or divorce. What I am talking about is a very unspoken epidemic. What I am talking about is people living in unhappy marriages and relationships ‘for the kids. Now I know it sounds like I am judgmental, but I am truly not. Everyone gets to choose how they live their lives, and we all deserve happiness. Now, if you can find a way to be in an unhappy relationship, take care of yourself and find passions that light you up despite what’s happening at home, share your experience, I’m all ears. I find that more often than not, it’s hard to bring joy to your life when there is so much friction at home. I had to let go and move forward from my marriage to be happy, which worked for my family.
How to Make Co-Parenting Work With Your Family:
1. Find Win/Win:
I have been married twice, and I failed twice. Each time learning and growing from each experience. Looking to find that win/win for everyone involved. How can I find my happiness and keep my kids happy too? How can I find my bliss but still keep my family together? Maybe not in the traditional sense but still nevertheless a family. Now every family is different, and what works for us may not work for you but hear me out.
2. Do The Self Love Work – Forgiveness:
It all starts with the willingness to forgive and let go. Which is the hardest part of the whole thing? My ex and I lived together for a year, working on this, not letting the kids in the know. Now is the time to get on the same page, partner (yes, I said partner bottom line you make kids with this person, and they’re not going anywhere your parenting partners for life). So what does happiness look like for our family? For us, it was keeping up family dinner as much as possible. After my ex moved out, we started having family dinner at my house 5 nights a week. Which helped the kids adjust to our new family dynamic. We also shared most holidays because that is really what holidays are all about the right family.
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3. Welcome & Include New Partners In The Mix For The Kids:
Eventually, new partners come into play, and step-parents are formed; at first, bringing a new person into the family is an adjustment for everyone, but once again, if everybody lets go and embrace each other with compassion and love, the family can grow even bigger not further apart. Once you see you are all still one big loving family that will never give up on each other, that’s all that matters, and all the kids need. All we need is love!
This was a great article I loved that dives deep into co-parenting.